An Inconvenient Spoof

I’ve paved my front garden and planted three cars,
The rain cannot reach underground reservoirs

But I just don’t believe what they say are our follies,
That the poles are now melting like two big ice lollies

Great Yarmouth, it sizzles like somewhere in France,
And scorpions are spreading all over Northants

The warmest year yet since records began. It
Was the hottest one yet on our little planet

The forests are falling in the Amazon Basin,
But I just won’t acknowledge the problems we’re facing

So, I’ve bought me a Hummer and I drive it around,
I know that it’s not ecologically sound

I hog all the roads from St.Albans to Peckham,
And I boast that I’ve got one just like David Beckham.

I’ll read a newspaper that questions the proof,
That this warming is global and not just a spoof

I’ll battle my corner and hold my position
I don’t give a toss about carbon emissions

Why should I be bothered or remotely concerned?
I’m just reaping the benefits of what I have earned

Recycling is barmy, the greens are just daft,
Composting is something at which to be laughed

Wind turbines are hideous. They’re not the solution.
I prefer nuclear waste and industrial pollution

No time for soul searching, no time to reflect
It’s just all those pinko’s being politically correct

So please just ignore me when the sea starts to rise,
Don’t throw me a line when it’s up to my eyes

Inconvenient truth? Or elaborate farce?
Now, excuse me while I disappear………

by Rob Barratt